Honestly, I am a little sick of thinking about Election Day and Prop 8 and everything political. A summary on my thoughts? Hope Obama doesn’t let us down, and we won’t give up fighting against the gay marriage ban. It’s fucking depressing, but it’s… It wasn’t unexpected. Bigots will be bigots; that’s the way the world works. But I refuse to let it get me down. I haven’t moped about the passage of that damn proposition since it passed, and I won’t. Liars will not win this war. The Yes on 8 campaign was populated with an utterly ridiculous amount of propaganda, and that will not do. It might have won them the race, but it won’t do shit in the long run. I am ashamed to even be fighting against these kinds of people — people who put up ads about how teachers would be required to teach about gay marriage school (LOL WHEN HAVE WE LEARNED ABOUT MARRIAGE IN SCHOOL, EVER?! WHO THE FUCK NEEDS TO LEARN ABOUT MARRIAGE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!) to horrify parents, people who put up signs in my town about how “PROP 8 = PARENTAL RIGHTS”. WTF does that even mean? That sign made me so mad that I tried to take it down, but it was mounted to the fence with a wooden stick thing. I don’t quite condone taking down the gazillion Yes campaign signs like a lot of my peers went around doing, but I will not have liars convince people to take away my rights.

Another thing I don’t condone is the Mormon church protests. While I cannot believe the nerve of the organization — donating that much money to the fight against legalizing gay marriage while it obviously understands MARRIAGE RIGHT PROBLEMS IN THE UNITED STATES — I think it’s stupid to protest Mormon churches. Sure, it makes a statement, but is that really the statement we want to be making? That we disrupt religious places and services and disrespect religion? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure we don’t need anymore hostility from religious maniacs — or even just anyone religious. Protests like those are only going to make people hate us more, and worse, get the wrong idea about us and our motivations. So I didn’t attend any of the Mormon church protests around here, even though there were a few that I knew of. I just don’t think it’s right. But this doesn’t mean that I can forgive the Mormon Church for making such a big difference in the race that I ended up losing the rights that I had finally gained.

But I’m still fighting. We’re still fighting. I had my NO ON 8 sign on the back of my car until recently, when my father demanded that I take it off so as to avoid getting keyed or worse. The court cases are waiting, and we are waiting, praying, hoping. We will win this, I know. It’s just a matter of when.




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On November the 7th, went to UCI to chill with Mag and check out her dorm, which is FRICKIN ENORMOUS, and meet her friends. Then, we met Kelly, Sara, Erin, and Amanda at Ra Sushi at the District to have dinner together. It was a lot of fun; lots and lots of laughing, especially at Mag and her unintentional boytoy. The food was delicious as well, of course! Mmm. Afterwards, we just chilled at the District for a while and listened to this random band that was playing. Then, we went to Mag’s dorm and hung out there, playing Scene It!, which we failed spectacularly at, LOL. But it was amusing nonetheless.

My future awesome mirror-microwave.

There was some drama ’cause Diana went all the way to SB and spent $100 to spend time with Jayne ’cause Jayne was always telling us to visit her — and then Jayne decided to come back to Irvine for the weekend after Diana had gotten there. Needless to say, Diana was not a happy camper, and I don’t think she’ll ever forgive her for that. I was pretty disappointed; I’d actually been considering visiting Jayne, but I mean, Diana actually went (really enthusiastically, too) and that’s what she got? Pretty ridiculous if you ask me.

Anyway, we went to Kell’s the next day, which was fun. Played ping pong (OMG, I am pathetic at that game), had a delicious dinner, drank lots of sparkling juice, played WiiFit, had some really good cake… And some good laughs, of course! Also watched a video of Sara playing with a band in a bar! Aside from Sara’s awesome playing, the best part was the drunk guy who collapsed on the stage and kept yelling weird things, LOL.

On Monday, I drove Jayne, Kayla, and Ryan to Lee’s Sandwiches for Kayla’s birthday, which was quaint. Also the egg rolls were delicious, obviously. Then, at night, I went to Todai with my family and met up with my relatives in City of Industry. It was a yummy meal, even if the place was weirdly deserted. Also, it was nice talking to Fred a lot. I do miss the kid and the fun times we used to have. I made a silly mistake, though; he asked me about college app and then I freaked out ’cause he should’ve already done them. Then he, Jess, and I argued for like five minutes about whether or not college apps were to be turned in during Junior year, LOL. I was wrong; stupidly so. I guess high school just kinda becomes this big unit of time after you graduate, haha.

Originally, I’d been really bummed that this year I’d be celebrating my first 18-and-up Halloween and I wouldn’t have anywhere to go, seeing as I don’t know anyone at the community college I’ve been attending and my friends were all staying at their colleges to party. But I went with Di to Costume Castle to check out the costumes anyway, and ended up getting this really cute flight attendant outfit I’d been eying for a few weeks. Di was planning on going to UC Santa Barbara to check out the infamously insane party scene there with Jayne, but there were complications about sleeping arrangements and hotels were totally booked and super expensive and blah blah. So she agreed to just come up to visit Amanda and me and see if we could go clubbing or something fun.

Unfortunately, all the clubs were 21+ for October 31st (way lame), which was a total bummer. We talked to Mag and decided that we might go check out the Hollywood Boulevard party. Went to Amanda’s house to eat (she had a lot of family over) and chill and decide what we wanted to do. While we were looking up directions to Hollywood, I brought up that Jayne had said that we were still welcome to drive up to Santa Barbara if we wanted to go to the party at Isla Vista, and that she would avoid drinks and drive back down if Amanda and Di wanted to drink. Diana was really, really eager to party, so we discussed it and I said that I would go along, but only if I didn’t have to drive (I hadn’t driven freeway before) and we didn’t take my car. But Amanda’s mileage was really high since she kept driving to San Diego to visit her boyfriend. So we finally agreed that Di would drive there, and we’d take Amanda’s car, and Jayne and I could alternate driving on the way back. So after like an hour of getting ready, we departed on our crazy adventure.

…And boy, was it one crazy adventure. So the traffic around LA was utterly insane, seeing as a bunch of the streets were blocked off for the Hollywood Party; we had at least an hour delay there. But after we got past that speedbump, off we went. And, uh… Off Diana went a little too fast. I was talking to Kelly on the phone about Orchestra and school when the next thing I know, our car is being illuminated like whoa by police lights and we’re being yelled at by a police officer in a car behind us to pull over. Seeing as they never teach you in driving school about what to do in case you get pulled over by the police, we freaked the shit out. Di pulled over to the left shoulder (we were driving in the carpool lane). But then the officer yelled at us (“DO NOT GO TO THE LEFT!”) for that and told us to go to the right. So we pulled over to the right — and got yelled at again and told very sternly to get off the freeway. So we exited and tried to pull over and got yelled at AGAIN. WTF, ASSHOLES. So then they gave us like 500 directions before they told us to pull over. OMFG. As you can imagine, we were going absofucking nutso at this point in time.

Convinced Diana to calm the fuck down and reminded her to roll down the window, LOL. The officer came over and asked to see her license and registration. Freaking out, we handed him like everything in the glove compartment, LOL. We’re total noobs; he was kinda like, “Uhh… Don’t give me all this; just give me the registration and insurance blah blah”. LOL. Then he asked if we’d been drinking and we said no (I was very vehement about this, LOL. I realize it’s silly, but I felt very, very bothered by my fear that he wouldn’t believe us). Then, he asked where we were heading and where we’d come from — we told him where we’d come from, and we told him that we were heading up to SB. Obviously the police know all about Isla Vista (LOL, who doesn’t?) so he was like, “Isla Vista?” And Diana the clueless idiot says, “Yeah… BUT NOT TO PARTY! We’re just picking up a friend.”

…Isla Vista is like where the parties are at. Why. The fuck. Would we be going there not to party. LMAO. Amanda and I were doing a lot of /headdesking as Diana was being interrogated, LOL. Anyway, the officer informed us that the party had been busted, and Di was like, “Oh, that’s okay! We’re just picking up a friend!” LOLOLOL. So funny. Then the officer told us he was going to give Di the breathalyzer and blah blah, but he didn’t actually end up doing it, which was weird. Oh well. So she just got a ticket, and then the officer left and went back to his car. And we sat there for like…at least ten minutes wondering if we were supposed to go first or if they were waiting for us to go, LOL. Finally, we got yelled at over the megaphone thingy again for not moving, LOL, so we decided to go to the gas station that was right there. Got a Rockstar for Jayne, some chips, and a Doubleshot for me, and then decided that I would drive the rest of the way to SB, since Diana was all shaken up and Amanda was all upset at her boyfriend and stuff, and I’d rather me the freeway-nub drive than either of them speed and kill us. Also, I never speed! LOL.

What was amusing at the gas station was the cracked up hos and sluts who pulled in quickly after us (the police were catching people everywhere in that town!). Anyway, I drove about an hour or so to SB, and we met up with Jayne at her dorm! And then she took the wheel, and we drove around for like half an hour trying to find parking, except that there wasn’t any. HAHAHA. So we decided that we were hungry and decided to find a Denny’s, LOL. Which took like another half an hour. When we finally did find a Denny’s, there was like a 30-min wait, so we were like, fuck that.

And decided to go to Denny’s back home.

HAHAHA. Funniest decision of our lives, I swear. So Diana and Amanda collapsed in the back while Jayne drove and I kept her company, which was fun. Got to Denny’s around six in the morning and had like…NOTHING, LOL. I ordered sausage links and Diana got a breakfast thing. That was all. LOLOL. So it was basically the most pointless night ever. It’s too bad we didn’t see Mag and her friends, who were apparently also there at that time! Damn, that would’ve been cool. But yeah. We dropped Diana off and then went back to my house and crashed.

…

Basically, all we accomplished during the night was getting a speeding ticket and picking up Jayne from Santa Barbara. …Yeah, not quite the adventure I’d imagined, but at least it’s a damn good story to tell. LOL.

The next day, we woke up too early (Jayne needed to do something on the computer or something for classes) and then just chilled on my mom’s bed, which was fun. It was interesting just hanging out with Amanda and Jayne, haha, and we had some good laughs about random shit… Especially the previous night, LOL. Then, we got Marie Callendar’s and went to Diana’s house to chill. What an eventful-but-not-really weekend, ahahaha.

P.S. I was a flight attendant, Diana was Indiana Jones, Jayne was Clark Kent, and Amanda was a lumberjack!

I’m obsessed with the SHOW: A Night in the Life of matchbox twenty right now, but every time I listen to another video of how amazing they are live, I want to cry at missing the LA concert earlier this year. I don’t know if I’ll ever get another chance to see them. I’m an idiot.

This is amazing. Such a fucking amazing song.

October 19th–

My boy picks me up at the train station with roses, spiked hair, and a bright smile. He takes my hand and kisses me and talks to me. He describes everything around us constantly, because he’s very aware of the fact that I will eventually need to know it due to my eventual move up to Cal. He introduces me to his friends, who all know who I am (he must talk about me a lot), even the ones who he doesn’t introduce me to ask me in the bathroom, “Hey, you’re Mark’s girlfriend, right?”

My boy takes me out for fancy dates for which we dress up but pay as much as we would in jeans and t-shirts. He is not just my boyfriend, but my best friend–truly, and not just because we’re together, but because our friendship runs much, much deeper than our relationship (and I wrote in his yearbook, “I have a feeling that no matter what happens to us, we’re going to end up growing old together”). He doesn’t put on any airs or try to impress me; he’s just himself, and it’s so easy to talk to him–once the conversation gets going, we can go on for hours.

My boy holds me close in his sleep and sometimes ends up in uncomfortable positions, but unconsciously shifts and shifts until he gets into a comfortable one in which he can still hold me. He dreams of me, and I of him, and we wake each other up with soft kisses and gentle touches.

My boy asks if I’m okay and tells me that I worry too much. He takes me to dances because he knows I’ve been dying to dance, and he insists on feeding me when I vaguely mention needing something to munch on. He asks if my food is okay and if I’m cold. He carries my bags for me–but even better than that, sometimes, he’ll just take half of my load and let me carry the rest. He’s willing to dish out money for me–but will let me treat him sometimes, too. (This is why he’s so perfect for me.)

My boy teaches me about the world, and he teaches me about love. He takes care of me when I am down, and listens to my troubles even if they’re silly. He gives me advice on things I don’t even want advice on, because he wants to help. He listens when I tell him my insecurities and anxieties, and he tells me about his own.

My boy laughs with me, smiles at me, and kisses my hands when the mood strikes him. My boy treats me not like a possession or a heavenly object but a beloved person. My boy thinks that I’m smart and pretty and interesting and strong.

My boy wanted to be with me so that he could treat me the way he believes that I deserve to be treated. He stresses over ways to ask me to dances and tries so hard to be a good boyfriend. He doesn’t know that he doesn’t really need to try. He already is the best I could ever ask for.

My boy fulfills my dreams.

every time we say goodbye
i wish we had one more kiss

Friday, October 17, I flew up to Berkeley for CalSO (Orientation) slash visiting Mark. Was randomly stressed out over trying to pack shit into my duffel bag because Mark’s mom and Beth had given me a bunch of stuff to take to him, but it all worked out in the end. Unfortunately, the flight (and luggage claim) was delayed by like an hour so Mark had to wait at the train station for a long time. I felt really bad. Anyway, my first-time-boarding-an-airplane-alone experience was really enjoyable. I bought two girly mags and had a good time reading them, worked on my stories, drank apple juice, listened to my music, and had a Starbucks passion iced tea lemonade, mmm. Good times. But even better was seeing Mark for the first time in two months; it was so unreal and wonderful, just hugging him again. And he bought me roses!!! It was really sweet of him and I was really touched, even though I’m not much of a flowers girl. But it really is the thought that counts. I wish I could’ve brought them home.

Anyway, we took the train, which was cool, except that he took us on the wrong one, LOL, so we went towards San Fran instead of Berkeley. Whoops. So then there was even more of a delay, but I didn’t mind; it was just so nice being with him. I felt like I was falling in love all over again, or — I don’t know how to describe it, but it just felt like…being reunited with him felt like coming home. We held hands and cuddled and talked and I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face or the flirty tone out of my voice. I love him so much. Eventually, we made it back to his dorm, which was cool and bigger than I’d imagined. So fascinating! I met his floormates, who were all super nice, which was cool. Then, we got dressed up and went out to dinner, and it was a lovely date. I had a really good time. We ate at La Mediterranee and got some sampler plates, which were really cool and good. Over dinner, we talked about a lot of things, and it felt like a bonding experience, somehow. After dinner, we got gelato and tried a billion flavors before settling on strawberry kiwi. It was so nice sharing food with someone again! I’ve missed it, as strange as that sounds. We rode the bus back to his dorm, where he went on the computer and I read magazines and wrote a little. I’ve missed that so much, like… Just being together, you know? Not necessarily talking or kissing or anything but just like… Being happy in each other’s presence and giving each other room while being able to reach out and touch a hand or being able to look up and smile at each other and just… Yeah. During the summer, a lot of the time he’d play violin or piano while I read on the couch, and I just love that feeling of…content, I guess? I’m so happy just being in his presence, and sometimes I like doing just that, I guess I’m trying to say.

We went to sleep early ’cause I had to wake up bright and early the next day for Orientation, but I didn’t mind, because we got to cuddle. His roommate was away for the weekend, so I got to stay with him, which was really lovely. There’s napping with someone, and then there’s sleeping an entire night with someone, and it was just… I dunno. It made me so happy, being held by him, being so close to him. How wonderful.

The next morning, I woke up and got ready and was running late, aah! Mark was too tired to get up and walk me like he’d said he would, which was fine, since it was like seven in the frickin’ morning. So I made my way to Dwinelle whatever, except I realized halfway that I’d forgotten to put in my contacts. How stupid of me! So I blindly signed in and got breakfast (a bagel) and was approached by a random friendly girl. Sat with her through the lectures/presentations and talked and stuff, which was chill. Nothing of the actual CalSO program was really of note, except that my group leader was pretty cool. For lunch, Lucy went back to her place (she’s actually FPF) so I ditched the dining halls thing and went to get food with Mark at Gypsy’s, which was cool. We ate in a secluded corner fountain thingy, which was nice, and he was all shocked that I ate chicken and drank Thai tea, LOL. It was funny. After lunch, we worked on schedules and classes and asked lots of questions about them and stuff; the guys were really cool. Then, we listened to some more random presentations and took a tour of the campus, which was probably the most interesting event of the day. Then we got our student IDs, and I’m annoyed that my signature turned out really shitty. But at least my picture doesn’t look horrible. It just doesn’t look as good as it could. Ah well. Finally, the day was over at six, and Mark picked me up.

Back in his dorm, we got ready to go out for dinner with his floormates. We went to…Mario’s? which was Mexican food, but I did manage to find something to eat, which was cool and pretty good. Not my kinda thing, but good nonetheless. Dinner was nice and fun, and I got to be all dolled up, hahaha. Afterward, we went back to the dorm and watched Finding Nemo. I was happy because Mark and I got to cuddle while watching it.

The next day, we slept in until noon and then got brunch from Crossroads, which was surprisingly good! Then, we just chilled for a couple of hours before I had to leave. He took me all the way to the airport shuttle and we said goodbye really fast ’cause I thought the bus was leaving, and then I got seated and had to look at him outside, and I cried. I always cry when we say goodbye, even if I know we’ll see each other in a few weeks. I don’t mind being far from him (we’re stronger than that), but I really don’t like leaving him.

The plane ride back was uneventful. Except for all the Raiders fans going pscyho, LOL. It was hilarious at the airport when all the officials kept asking everyone about the score and what had happened with the timeout that everyone was raving about and blah blah. Hahaha. Funny stuff.

I actually quite like Anzu; she’s hardly my favorite character, but I don’t like all the bashing that she gets. She’s confident, ambitious, loyal, rational, intelligent. It’s silly when people characterize her in fanfiction as a slutty ditz, because she often denounces girls like that. In contrast, she’s a smart girl with tomboyish tendencies. I mean, come on, she hangs out with a group of guys and doesn’t really fit in with the other girls. And how can you not admire that she works so hard to earn money to pay for studying dance in America? That’s super cool. She’s the only one out of the gang (other than Kaiba, I guess) who has an idea of where she’s going — and the only one who seems to care.

The only thing that irks me about her is that she’s so into Yami while Yuugi has such a big crush on her. Of course, it makes for a very interesting dynamic, but I feel so bad for Yuugi, haha. He’s such a good kid, too. But it just goes to show that chicks are often into the ruthless, strong man rather than the kind, good-hearted kid. As an avid Darkshipper, it does pain me a little to see her chase after Yami, but it’s irrelevant because Yami definitely does not feel the same kind of love for her. Yami’s way more devoted to Yuugi, haha.

Anyway, I don’t think that she deserves all the bashing that she goes through in this fandom. She’s a good female character who doesn’t steal too much screentime and doesn’t interfere with the plot. More importantly, she’s not a dumbass and she doesn’t think too highly of herself.

I blame the dub for fucking her character up. It’s definitely Yami who likes to “preach” about friendship and the “heart of the cards”, not Anzu!