Plague

By: Amphitrite (papervanity@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13

Summary: The sins of mankind plague us all.

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“What are you doing?”

“I was out taking a walk.”

“In this weather?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I, uh, got sent home early.”

“For no reason whatsoever?”

“The entire floor was doing a cleanup so they needed everyone out of the building.”

“I see.”

“Aren’t you cold? Even the slightest bit?”

“I’m fine.”

“Do you want to get inside?”

“Doesn’t make a difference to me. Do you need to be somewhere? If I start now dinner should be ready in half an hour or so.”

“Oh, I already ate.”

“Is that right.”

“Yes.”

“Hmm. I see.”

“Were you taking a walk for any specific reason?”

“Does a woman need an excuse to enjoy nature nowadays?”

“No, I was just wondering. No need to get touchy. Er. I.”

“What is it now?”

“I—Never mind.”

“You are so exasperating.”

“Yes, that’s me, the Exasperation Extraordinare.”

“Weren’t you about to leave?”

“Yes, I need to see my therapist.”

“Since when did you get a therapist? Is that where all our money is going?”

“Oh, er. Yes, that’s where all the money went. No. No, that’s not. I don’t have one.”

“What are you blathering on about now?”

“I don’t have a therapist.”

“Then what’s this going to see a therapist thing?”

“A lie.”

“Clearly.”

“Er.”

“Yes?”

“Dear, I have a confession to make.”

“Yes, yes I’m listening.”

“Erm.”

“Oh, for crying out loud. At this rate we might as well go in.”

“No, I need to—to go.”

“To go where? See your nonexistent therapist? What is all this about?”

“Nothing! It’s about—Everything! I don’t know! I’m so lost and confused and I haven’t slept for days, just thinking up ways to tell you this, but I…”

“Either spit it out or don’t say anything at all. It’s not polite to keep a woman waiting outside when it’s obviously about to snow.”

“I thought you said you were fine.”

“Well, I lied! I’m freezing my ass off out here and you still have something to tell me!”

“Why on earth did you lie about something so trivial as that? Sometimes I just don’t understand you at all!”

“Would you stop avoiding the subject?”

“What subject? There was no subject in the first place. Excuse me, but I need to go see a friend.”

“Which friend?”

“What does it matter?”

“Maybe I’d like to go along with you.”

“Oh, no, I doubt you would want to visit this friend with me.”

“Is it your great-uncle? Because I sure as hell never want to speak to that low-life bastard ever again, in this life or any other.”

“No, it is not my great-uncle. Would you just stop it with the questions? Since when did you become so prying?”

“Honestly, what is the matter with you? Why are you so flustered and why are you turning your back on me and why are you walking away from me?”

“For God’s sake, woman, shut your trap!”

“Did you just raise your voice to me and speak in that tone, you pathetic worthless man?”

“Yes, I did. I also lost my job a week ago. There! Are you happy?”

“Stop walking! Where the hell do you think you’re going? And what the hell is this! You lost your job? You! Come back and explain what you’re talking about! Where are you going?”

“Fucking hell! Catherine’s, all right? I’m going to visit Catherine and I won’t be back tonight!”

“You had better turn around and give me a logical explanation or I am going to go berserk. I demand you to stop walking! Who is Catherine? Oh, wait. Isn’t she that little blonde playmate of yours? The one who’s always all over you? Are you cheating on me? You are not going to go see her. That little bitch! Come back here!”