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Let
the Tears Fall By: Amphitrite (papervanity@gmail.com) Rated: PG-13 Pairing: Otogi/Jounouchi, Kaiba/Jounouchi Song: You Won’t Be Mine by Matchbox Twenty. Warning: Suicide!fic. Summary: /So this is what it
all comes down to. To die or not to die? Well, the answer is obvious, isn’t
it? I was never one to defy Fate…/ Suicide warning. Otogi
loves Jounouchi, but Jounouchi
is with Kaiba. Otogi
falls into deep depression, leading to...the end.
He stood in the shadows, completely silent
and motionless. He watched as Yuugi-tachi talked
excitedly to Sugoroku in front of the Kame Game Corner. Yuugi-tachi. Yuugi, Jounouchi, Anzu, and Honda. But today, there was another one
present. He narrowed his emerald eyes. The boy standing by Jounouchi
was none other than Kaiba Seto.
The ebony-haired duelist’s fists clenched. Kaiba
just reminded him of his pain, who reminded him of The Night. He closed his
eyes and when he opened them again, he was merely a translucent figure in his
own memory. He watched as he walked Jounouchi’s house. Past!Otogi
held a small silver box in his hands. Its shiny paper glinted in the
moonlight. A smile formed on his cream colored face as he thought of his
long-time crush. Take your head around the world
See what you get From your mind He stepped up to
the Jounouchi doorway, looking extremely nervous but
trying to conceal it. Of course, he wasn’t succeeding. He rang the doorbell,
his hand shaking as he touched the white button. He drew his hand back and
fingered the charm on his necklace nervously. Jounouchi fumbled with the lock for a few seconds
before succeeding in opening it. He was surprised to see Otogi
standing on his doorstep, looking extremely twitchy. He blinked. “Nani? Otogi-kun? What are you doing here? It’s really late.” “Gomen, Jounouchi-kun…I need to talk to you about something.
Something really really important that can’t wait
any longer.” Past!Otogi answered. Jounouchi cocked his head to the side in confusion and
looked at his friend. “Nani, Otogi-kun?” Write your soul down word for word See who’s your friend Who is kind “Can I come in?” Past!Otogi
asked. Jounouchi hesitated, looking a little
embarrassed. “Maybe it’s better if we talk out here. Is
that okay?” “I guess…” Past!Otogi
said warily. The real version cringed. He knew what would
come next. This was the worst part. The part that had broken his heart. The
part that pained every part of him when he remembered it. “I love…” Past!Otogi
started. The real one shut his eyes tight. Here it comes… “Jou-koi? Who is
it? Are you okay?” came a voice that sounded suspiciously like… “It’s just Otogi-kun,
Seto-chan.” Jounouchi
called back. /Just Otogi-kun?/ Kaiba snuck up behind Jounouchi
and wrapped his arms around his waist. He kissed the blonde’s neck. “Seto-chan…” Jounouchi whined. Past!Otogi dropped the silver box, emerald eyes
widening in horror. He bent down to pick it up and started to run away from
the two lovers. He only got a few feet away before he tripped over a stone in
the sidewalk. He fell to the ground, on his knees. Tears began to well in his
eyes. Not from the pain of the fall, but from the heartbreak and betrayal he
felt. The original figure opened his eyes again,
knowing exactly what had just happened. He watched with pain as his
memory-self tried to get up but fell back onto the ground. His leg really
didn’t feel right… Jounouchi made a motion to run toward him, but Kaiba held him back. “Daijoubu,
Otogi-kun?” the blonde shouted. Otogi-kun.
Kun. That’s all that it would ever be. No –chan, no
–koi. Nothing. Just –kun. He was only a friend to Jounouchi. To his crush, he was nothing but a friend.
Someone who was just…there. “Iie.” He
whispered, but loud enough for Jounouchi to hear. It’s almost like a disease
I know soon
you will be Over the lies, you’ll be strong Jounouchi’s heart wrenched as the other boy struggled
to stand up, finally succeeding. He supported himself with a stick that had
been laying on the ground and put something in his pocket. Then he turned
around painfully. Jounouchi was shocked to see
tears welling in his beautiful eyes. “Iie.” He
repeated. “I will never be okay, Jounouchi- That’s why I feel so much pain right now,
isn’t it? I loved you so much, but you don’t think of me as anything other
than a friend. Well, goodbye, then, Jounouchi-san.
And let’s both hope that our paths will never cross again. Have a nice life
with your koi.” Past!Otogi
said coldly, starting to hobble away. The real version cringed again at his
harsh words. But however bitter that it had been, it was the truth. The
truth. The memory faded away and became the real world. He reached into his
pocket and retrieved something. The small silver box. He clenched it and its
edges became more wrinkled than it already was. This was supposed to be Jounouchi’s gift. He had saved up forever to have this
made…But, no. Jounouchi already had a koi. A rich one, in fact. So he didn’t need this gift,
did he? He growled softly. He ripped the wrapping paper off and opened the
box. You’ll be rich in love and you will carry
on But no – oh
no No, you won’t be mine It was a necklace…A glassy charm with
engraved lettering on both sides that hung from a black leather cord. It
looked like the one that Jounouchi wore during The duelist smiled. Jounouchi's
Otogi…But that was all just pointless wishing now,
anyway. So what did it matter? He threw the necklace to the ground in
frustration. Why did it have to happen this way? He never did anything
wrong…why did he deserve this pain?
He looked at the ground. The gift lay
still on the ground, not even cracked. He had gotten the charm made from the
best material…no wonder it wouldn’t break. The things he did for the one that he
loved. Loved. Not loves…He had no feelings for Jounouchi
any more. Well, he did. But he knew that they would never be returned. So
what was the point of hoping? He had given up. Take your straight line for a curve
Make it stretch, the same old line Try to find if it was worth what you spent The black-haired male stuffed the gift
into his pocket and watched as Yuugi-tachi walked
into the Game Corner, still all smiles. Sugoroku stayed
outside, still sweeping the floor free of autumn leaves. The duelist stepped
out of the shadows and walked past the old man and to his home, which was
right above his shop. Sugoroku waved at him. “Hey, Otogi-kun!”
he hollered. But the other ignored him. Or perhaps he hadn’t even heard the
greeting. Whatever the reason, Sugoroku didn’t
receive an answer. The Kame Game Corner owner
shrugged and muttered something about ungrateful teens these days. *** He locked himself up in his room, which
was a plain one at that. He lay down on the bed (complete with dark seagreen sheets) and stared blankly at the ceiling. What
had gone wrong? Why had Kaiba been chosen instead
of him? He was just as good…Didn’t he deserve someone as good as Jounouchi? No…the gods didn’t think so. So they gave
him heartbreak and loneliness…but rewarded Kaiba
with riches and gold…and what mattered the most: a love. He didn’t
understand. He twirled a strand of ebony hair around
his finger. /Why is life like this? When I finally get the courage to confess
after such a long time of crushing…he rejects me. Iie…he
didn’t reject me. He already belonged to somebody else. Shimatta…why
must it be this way?/ He held back his tears. /I will not
cry. I will not show my weakness. This is all Kaiba’s
fault! If he hadn’t stolen my Jounouchi, I
wouldn’t be here right now! I would be with Jounouchi
and his friends at the Game Corner. I would be happy./ Why you’re guilty for the way
You’re feeling now It’s almost
like being free And I know soon you will be /It’s so not fair…why am I stuck
with the heartbreak? Why couldn’t Kaiba be the one
who feels like they have been ripped in two? Because that’s how I feel
now…even though he didn’t love me back, he was still a part of me. Exactly
one half of me. Without him, I’m only one part of a whole. One half of a whole. What good am I without him? He was my joy,
my happiness, my fantasy… But what is he now? My ex-crush? What a
noble title, ne? Jounouchi,
Otogi’s ex-crush./ He bit his lip harshly to keep
from crying. He wouldn’t cry. Not now. Not ever. /I hate this life…I hate living. I hate
myself./ He stood up and went to his desk, taking a
fancy box out from the top drawer. It was silver and had words engraved into
the cover. The words read in fancy English script, “I give thou this gift, bidding thee to enter the Netherworld.” He had never understood what that was
saying. A while ago, he had translated the message into Japanese. But he
still didn’t understand it.
He opened the box slowly. On the inside
cover was another message. “Thou shall be the one who is left to die.”
He had looked that one up too. It had confused him even more. Inside the box were three differently
colored dice and a silver dagger in a black leather sheath. He lifted the
dice out and rotated all three to look at the faces. These dice were actually
the ones that had given him the idea of Dungeon Dice Monsters. There was one green one (him), one yellow
one (Jounouchi), and one blue one (Kaiba). Each had the same six different symbols on its
faces: a sword, a heart, a Roman numeral one, a tear, a pentagram, and a
skull. The three dice had been given to him by a
relative. When he had received them, the relative had told him that they
could predict the future. But the black-haired freshman had never figured out
what the symbols meant. Until now. The green die represented him…by his green
eyes. Jounouchi was represented by the yellow,
since he had blonde hair. The last die, which was blue, represented Kaiba, also because of his eyes. The six symbols were the
ones who predicted the future. So if he just rolled them… Over the lies, you’ll be strong
You’ll be rich in love and you will carry
on But no – oh no No, you won’t be mine The yellow die landed on the heart. The
blue one did as well. The green one spun around for a moment, then stopped on
the skull. Heart, heart, skull. He shook his head, not wanting to believe
it. Heart, heart, Roman numeral one. Then again. Heart, heart, sword. One
more…Heart, heart, Roman numeral one again. Last time…Heart, heart, tear. His heart sank. He sat down sadly onto his
chair. The message was clear to him now…He understood it all. All five times, Jounouchi
and Kaiba’s dice had landed on the hearts. That
meant that their love was eternal. If he had rolled their dice again, there
was no doubt that it would land on the hearts again. His symbols were, in order: Skull, one,
sword, one, and tear. The skull meant death. The ‘one’ was actually an English
letter, ‘I’. The sword meant ‘kill’ and the tear was pain. Death. I kill
myself. Pain. “I give thou this
gift, bidding thee to enter the Netherworld.” “Thou shall be
the one who is left to die.” He was meant to
kill himself. The message on the outer cover of the box instructed him to
enter the world of the Dead. The second message was telling him that he would
be left out of Jounouchi’s heart. He would be
heartbroken and would die soon enough. Take yourself out
to the curb Sit and wait A fool for life He took the
sheathed knife out from the box and drew it out. On the handle was a green
jewel. Whether it was real or not, he knew not and didn’t care either. He ran
a cream-colored index finger alone the edge of the small blade and watched as
his crimson blood flowed out of the cut. He was not afraid
of the pain. He did not feel
the pain. /So this is what
it all comes down to. To die or not to die? Well, the answer is obvious,
isn’t it? I was never one to defy Fate…/ He inhaled sharply. /I will accept
my destiny. My destiny to die./ He took the blade
and began to cut along his wrists. English letters. He didn’t know why. Maybe
it was because the two messages on the box were written in English. First an ‘A’…(Aishiteru) on his right wrist. Then he switched hands and
engraved a ‘J’…(Jounouchi), a lower case ‘n’…(no),
and last of all an ‘O’…(Otogi). Aishiteru. Jounouchi no Otogi. I love you,
from Jounouchi’s Otogi. It’s almost like
a disease I know soon you
will be Nobody else would
ever understand the message, but nobody else would ever care. He
doubted anyone would even notice that he had died. He could just
hear them now. “Otogi? Otogi
who? Oh, you mean that black-haired kid with the ponytail? He died? Oh, well,
you know. Everyone dies some time.” /Nobody cares.
Goodbye, minna./ He cringed as the
pain of cutting his veins began to sink in. But this time, he let the tears
fall. He showed his weakness to the world. And he didn’t care. The ebony-haired
male took a breath and gripped the knife tightly. Then he pierced his heart.
The overwhelming horror and pain took over and he collapsed to the floor of
his room. /Once heard
somewhere…most…regret…decision while they’re dy…ing after they…suicide. But not…me. Know…I deserve…this./ That incoherent
thought was his last. Over the lies, you’ll be strong
You’ll be rich in love and you will carry on
But no – oh no No, you won’t be mine. He was a master of games, namely Dungeon
Dice Monsters. He was Otogi Ryuuji. He was gone. |