Silent Tears: Yami's Account

Silent Tears: Yami’s Account

Rated: PG-13

Pairing: Bakura/Yami, Yami/Yugi

Warning: Companion piece to Worthy of You.

Summary: Yami’s heart is broken after Yugi breaks up with him. But there’s one person who can mend his shattered heart. Bakura.

Entry 12 {1:52 am}

Okay, I’ve officially decided to not bother with the dates. Why do mortals make things so complicated with these months and days of the week?

I learned from Téa that the days are named after Roman gods. Romans are stupid. They should have Raday (Ra-day), Bastetday (Bastet-day), and Isisday (Isis-day), etc.

Hmm. I think that Malik’s sister would like Isisday. But I do think the time is useful, so I’ll use that.

As I’m writing this (or scribbling, depending on your view), I’m watching my little hikari sleep. He’s so cute when he’s sleeping.

Soft, light breath.

Peaceful, gentle movement.

Like an angel. Sometimes I wonder, Is it possible for him to be an angel? Sure seems believable. I pull a golden bang out of his beautiful face. He smiles and whispers one word.

“Yami.” I smile softly, something I never do around anyone but him.

Well, I’ve decided to go watch him some more. Good night.

Entry 16 {9:24 pm}

I…I don’t know what to say. My hand is shaking so hard that I can’t even read my own writing anymore. My tears are splashing the page as I write.

It seems silly. Oh so silly.

The Game King…crying?

It may seem silly, but to me, it’s not.

But what is the mighty pharaoh crying about?

Five words.

Six syllables.

Something that shattered my heart.

Yugi broke up with me.

I…I can’t believe it. My…my little hikari. Left me.

Alone. That’s how I feel.

I…I can’t stay here anymore. I’ll go to the park.

Entry 17 {10:03 pm}

I went and am back. Stupid thief was there. Said that he was there to ‘think’. Right. I didn’t even know he could think. I told him that I went there every night. Which was half true, but I usually go there with Yugi. Was hoping that that would make him go away, but it didn’t, unfortunately.

So we just kind of sat there, him leaning on me. And…it felt kind of nice.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I did notice that we spent an entire half hour together without a single threat or insult.

But why?

Why didn’t we?

I was probably too depressed to care, but what about him?

What made him stay quiet?

I have no idea. Something must be wrong with him.

But wait. Something must be wrong with me too, if I’m starting to care about that stupid tomb robber. It must be the depression from what had just happened.

Damn. Now I’ve started to cry again. One second.

Ignore the drops of water randomly wetting your poor pages. But I’m confused. Yugi said something weird…

"You love somebody else. I can tell from the way your eyes are when we're together."

And then I replied, "What are you talking about? I love you.”

You know what he said after I said that?

"I love you too, but we both know that things aren't the same anymore."

What the Hell? What does he mean ‘things aren’t the same anymore’? Nothing has changed! I told him that I’d respect his decision and that I didn’t love anyone else.

I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him: I don’t love anyone else!

And that’s the truth. I don’t.

And now, I can’t imagine life without my perfect little angel.

But…I’ll have to live.

Entry 18 {12:37 pm}

Great. Now the Thief knows.

He asked me what was wrong with me when he dragged me into shopping at the local market.

I told him. What else could I do?

Oh, and guess what? I’ve moved to the room that Sugoroku-sama offered me when he found out about me. I just can’t stand being in the same room with Yugi without bursting into tears.

This new bedroom feels so empty, though. There’s nothing in it except for the bed, a wooden desk, which I’m writing on right now, and a small bedside table with an alarm clock on it. That’s it.

Empty.

Just like me.

There’s one thing that brightens the room noticeably, though. On this desk, there’s a framed picture of Yugi hugging me…I love that photo. Yugi looks especially adorable in that. And me…I look…happy.

Happy.

Ha.

There’s no such thing as true happiness.

Because once you feel like you could never be happier, a bomb is dropped, and you’ve sunk into depression and solitude again.

“We’ll live in eternal happiness and best of all, together, right, Yami-chan?”

Eternal happiness.

Yeah, right.

And I’m the Pharaoh of Egypt.

Please ignore the fact that I really am the Pharaoh of Egypt.

Entry 19 {11:55 pm}

Yesterday night, Yugi told me there was going to be a party here today. But he didn’t even glance at me. He’s been avoiding me ever since THE NIGHT. His beautiful violet eyes…I want to see them.

No.

I need to see them.

Love.

It’s bitter.

It’s psychotic.

I hate it.

The pain is never going to leave. I’ll be stuck with it forever.

I’m never going to fall for anyone again. Yes, Ra, you heard me correctly.

I vow, to this diary and myself, that from this moment on, I will never ever love anyone again.

Ever.

Entry 20 {12:11 pm}

I don’t believe it. My Hikari just hugged Kaiba. Perhaps it wasn’t me who loved someone else.

Perhaps it was Yugi.

But is it possible? Could Yugi have broken up with me because he really loved Kaiba?

But maybe he and Kaiba were already dating for a while. Ra, for all I know, Yugi could’ve been cheating on me the entire time!

I can’t bear to think of my innocent Hikari that way, but it sure seems more possible than me being in love with somebody else without even knowing.

Excuse me, diary. I must go write cruel things on the wall now.

Entry 21 {1:18 pm}

I’ve been reading over my recent entries, and Ra, I sound pathetic.

Anyway, something weird just happened. There’s something wrong with the Thief. He asked me why I was crying and he COMFORTED me. And I actually…enjoyed being in his arms. Why am I feeling these disturbing feelings?

He also asked me who I loved. I told him I didn’t know.

And I don’t.

For a while, I thought I loved Yugi. But he doesn’t love me. And I don’t see the point of loving someone if they don’t love you back. Now, I’m getting the fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever I think of…of…

The Thief.

Just like in Egypt when I met/saw a pretty prince.

But this can’t happen.

There is no way that I can have a crush on the Thief.

…Is there?

Entry 22 {3:04 pm}

Okay, this is not making any sense AT ALL. Why the hell is the Thief acting so weird? He asked me to hold him. HOLD him. Hold HIM!

I don’t understand at all. Oh yeah. Why is he in here at all? Some bastard locked us in my room FROM THE FREAKIN’ OUTSIDE. So now I can’t get out, except by the window, which seems a bit…err…risky.

I look down at where’s he’s curled up against my chest and I have to admit, he looks utterly adorable when he’s sleeping. Oh, gag me!

I just called the Thief adorable.

Disgusting.

And oh so very disturbing.

Ra, I’m freaking myself out. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I think the Thief is cute. CUTE! The only person I’ve ever called cute is…Yugi.

Oh, it hurts so much to write his name. Why the hell can’ t I get over him?

Yugi. Yugi. Yugi. Yugi. Yu

Shit. Thief’s waking up now. Must go. Ja.