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Snowflake
Tears By: Amphitrite (papervanity@gmail.com) Rated: PG-13 Pairing: Bakura/Yami Summary: “Every time I see him, my heart hurts and to keep from
just screaming from frustration, I stay silent. But when he insults me, it's
just too painful. He has no idea how much it hurts.”
[[ Bakura ]] “Yami!!” I hear Ryou yell. I put
down my pen and sigh. I walk to the front door, where Ryou
is putting on his shoes. He smiles at me. “I’m going to Yuugi’s
house, okay?” he says, wrapping a scarf around his neck. I nod. He stands up
and hugs me for a second, then runs out the door. I close the door after him,
running back to my room and putting my journal away. I jump onto my
bed and hug my Yami plushie.
I run my finger along it. I made it myself, with some of Ryou’s
help. It’s so cute. I love it…almost as much as Yami
himself. I roll over and stare at the white ceiling. I depress even
myself, sometimes. Great, I’m going to go into one of my mind rants
again…Let’s start with Yami. Damn, that pharaoh is
so sexy! And cute. And hot. And adorable. Hey, I’m a crazy spirit trapped in
a millennium where my own time was five thousand years ago. I can call a
pharaoh adorable. It all began back
then…in I mean, I have
most of my memory, but there are some details missing from my mind. I guess
that this is one of those details. Oh, well. It doesn’t really matter how we
got together. We became
passionate lovers and the fact that it was forbidden only made it more
exciting. It was great…But no story ends happily ever after. And mine didn’t.
He knew his duty
and when the Shadow Games began to get out of hand, he knew he had to banish
me and all the Shadow power. It was his role as pharaoh to do so…He
apologized profusely to me with pleading eyes. I gave in and accepted his
apology. Then I was
banished into the Sennen Ring. I found Ryou, became close with him, and found out that he was
friends with Yuugi, the owner of the Sennen Puzzle. I didn’t know that the Sennen
Item had the spirit of the pharaoh’s in it…it was just another one of those
details I had forgotten. And when I first faced him in the Shadow Realm, I
was shocked that my opponent was my former lover. And he didn’t
recognize me one bit. I didn’t want to
seem like a wimp to him, whether he remembered me or not. So I held my head
up high and kept all my emotions bottled up. I had to resist to just glomp him from relief.
Then, when he sent me to the Graveyard again…I felt like bursting into tears. He hadn’t
apologized this time. And now, every
time I see him, my heart hurts and to keep from just screaming from frustration,
I stay silent. But when he insults me, it’s just too painful. I can’t keep my
mouth shut. He has no idea how much it hurts. I flip in my bed,
closing my eyes. But, no…I can’t sleep. My head fills with images of him the
minute I shut my eyelids. And I know that my dreams will just be a million
flashbacks of the unreachable past and images of the impossible future. Okay, that’s it.
I can’t stay here anymore. I’m going to go take a walk. I slip on one of Ryou’s jackets and my own shoes, then slowly walk out the
door, being careful to lock the door. Oh, look. It’s
snowing. Just great. Big balls of snow falling from the sky like hell. Oh,
well. I guess I can ignore it. Why is it so damn cold in I slowly reach
the park and watch the idiotic kids play on the slides and seesaws for a few
minutes. They’re laughing, giggling, shouting joyfully…Are the gods mocking
me or something? Why do I have to be cursed to live without any joy? Without
any love? Without my pharaoh… As their
happiness angers me, I turn away. I make up my mind to just rest on one of
the benches, then realize that two people are
already sitting there. Hey, I think I recognize them. Oh…It’s that Mokuba kid and Jounouchi’s
little sister, Shizuka. And they’re sharing a soft
kiss. Okay, I think the
gods are really having a good laugh now. I politely step out of the way and
walk around more, sloshing in my boots through the blanket of white stuff on
the ground. It’s quite soft. I can almost feel Yami’s
arms around me, keeping me warm. I shiver slightly, though it’s not from the
cold. …Hey! What was
that? I blink and look
back to the spot I was just standing at. There was something that almost
tripped me there! I walk slowly back and see something black and red
underneath the snow. I brush the white snow off, revealing some blonde. I
brush all of it off… Oh, Ra! It’s Yami! And he’s unconscious! Without thinking, I pick him
up. Wow, he’s light. I would’ve expected him to be much more
heavier. I hold him in my arms, pressing him against my chest. He
stirs slightly and snuggles closer to the warmness. I resist a soft smile and
quickly run home. I unlock the
door, run in, and close it. I take my boots off, somehow, and run to the
living room, setting him down on the couch. I hurry to the bathroom and grab
some towels, then go to my room and take some blankets and some dry clothes. I run back to the
couch. Oh, Ra…he’s not even wearing a jacket. He must be freezing cold. I
stop in my tracks, suddenly remembering something my father once told me. He
said that if you stay in the cold too long and go to sleep…you…might…die. No,
Yami can’t die! I won’t allow it. I grab the towels
and try my best to dry him off. He barely even stirs. I don’t even
hesitate as I change his clothes, as nervous as hell. I lay him back on the
couch and lay the blankets on him carefully, making sure he’s warm. Then, I
light the fireplace and put his clothes near it, but not so close that they
will burn. I take off my
jacket and walk back to the sofa. Oh…he’s so cute when he’s sleeping. He
looks so innocent and childlike. His mouth is slightly open, breathing
heavily. I hope he’s okay. Damn, he so adorable when he’s sleeping! I just
want to kiss him… Wait…kiss him?
Should I? I mean…he would never know, right? It would be the first kiss I’ve
had with him for five millennia… Damn it, I can’t
resist. I’m going to do it. I hope he doesn’t wake up. I lean in, closer,
closer, and closer…and reach my destination. His lips are so soft…just like
how I remember them…I hold it there for a few seconds. I let go softly,
stroking his cheek gently. Then, I retreat and sit on the other end of the
couch. Wow…that was
wonderful. The sparks between us…the last time I felt that was when he
brushed by me a few days ago. I let out a happy sigh. That’s probably the
most I’ll ever get from him… [[ Yami ]] I feel someone
brush their lips against mine. Then I register someone touching my cheek.
Then it’s gone. What was that supposed to be? The last thing I remember was
walking out of the Game Corner after Ryou came
over. Then, I went to the park…and that’s all I can recall. What happened
afterwards? I shift my
position, blinking my eyes open and groggily sitting up. I rub my eyes. Where
am I? The fireplace is the only light in the room and I’m on a couch. There’s
someone else in the room though, but I can’t tell who it is… “Thank Ra, you’re
awake.” says the person. I tilt my head to the side, trying to decipher who’s voice it is. It sounds strangely familiar… “I’ll be
right back.” the voice says and I can hear the footsteps of someone going to
another room. I look around. Hey, this is Ryou’s house! What am I doing here? How did I even _get_
here? I wait quietly for the person the come back, whoever it is. Soon enough, he
does and from the light, I can see that it’s… Bakura?!?!? What? “Bakura?” I ask weakly. Okay, that is _not_ the voice I
want to talk to him with. Too late. He nods and hands me a mug of hot cocoa.
I shiver and take it from his hands, taking a sip. Oh, shit! What if it’s
poisoned? I nearly spit it out, but he’s looking at me so earnestly…as if
waiting for a response. Those eyes… I gulp the
chocolate down, instantly feeling warmed. Wow! It tastes great. I nod, taking
another sip. I find my voice and say, “Arigatou.
This is good!” I see his eyes light up and his mouth curves upward into the
smallest of all smiles. I finish the drink and let out a breath. He looks at me
curiously. “Want more?” I shrug. “Sure.” He nods
slightly and excuses himself. I see him walk into the kitchen. Once he’s
gone, I’m alone to my thoughts again… Why did Bakura bring me here? I don’t understand. I thought he
hated me. I never truly hated him, even with
everything he said and did to me. I don’t know why…It’s another thing I’m
confused about. I close my eyes. Something flashes in my mind… *** Bakura brushed the white snow off, revealing some blonde.
He gasped when he saw who it was: Yami. And he was
unconscious too. He picked the
body up carefully and held the former pharaoh against his chest. Yami stirs slightly and snuggles closer to the heat. A
strange expression flickers across Bakura’s face
and then he quickly runs home.*** What was that supposed
to be? Bakura…saved me? But…why? All this is too
confusing…my head hurts. I let out a slight moan. “Yami? Are you all right?” Bakura’s
voice asks me gently, shaking me. I open my right eye, then my left. The
Thief looks concerned…Strange. I thought he hated me. “I’m okay.” I
hear myself reply. “Okay. Here,” He
hands me the refilled mug of hot cocoa. I take it graciously. It really is
very good. When I feel I’ve had enough, I set the cup down on the coffee
table and face Bakura. He’s looking at me with soft
eyes. I’ve never seen him like this. Finally gathering up the courage, I
speak. “Can I ask you a
question?” He looks
surprised, but merely nods slightly. I take a breath and continue. “Why did
you save me?” Bakura sighs and looks
away. When he doesn’t reply, I tilt my head to the side curiously. “Bakura?” He turns and
looks at me with sad eyes. He looks adorable. Then he— Whoa, backtrack
there. Did I just say that Bakura looks adorable? I
must be going insane. I mean, even if I don’t hate him, there is _no_ way
that I just called him…cute. That’s a little
disturbing. Anyway, he
replies. “Pharaoh, there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me. One of
those things is the reason that I saved you. I think that that’s all I want
to tell you at the moment.” He closes his eyes, then opens them and looks at
me with hurt eyes. “Love, Yami, is like a roller coaster. It has its up and downs.
Sometimes, it can be wonderfully great and you feel like there’s no greater
joy, and other times, it hurts horribly and feels like someone has ripped you
apart into shreds. If I ever do anything to hurt you, Yami,
please forgive me. It wouldn’t be on purpose. You know how much you mean to
me. But if I ever do anything to harm you, please tell me to stop and don’t
get mad.” As he said it, his voice got softer until I could barely hear it. Something snapped
in the mind when he said that. I feel slightly woozy and receive yet another
flash… ***A certain tomb
robber and pharaoh are lying in the sand of the Egyptian desert. They are
hidden behind a pyramid, staring at the star-filled sky. Suddenly, the pale
haired one moves closer to the pharaoh and intertwines their hands. The pharaoh leans
his head on the thief’s chest and sighs happily. The thief hugs his lover and
brushes their lips together. He smiles and says, “Love is like a
roller coaster. It has its up and downs. Sometimes, it can be wonderfully
great and you feel like there’s no greater joy, and other times, it hurts
horribly and feels like someone has ripped you apart into shreds. If I ever
do anything to hurt you, please forgive me. It wouldn’t be on purpose. You
know how much you mean to me. But if I ever do anything to harm you, please
tell me to stop and don’t get mad.” The pharaoh looks
at the tomb robber curiously before wrapping his arms around him. “I will…and
that’s a promise.”*** The memory, or
whatever it was, ended and I was brought back to reality, shaking noticeably.
There’s no doubt in what I just saw…it had to be a memory the gods had decided
to send me at this moment…I gulp. The pale haired one was obviously Bakura…and the other was me. Is this why Bakura is acting so strange? Were we lovers in
Don’t be stupid, Yami. It’s obvious from that memory that we loved each
other. But…why hasn’t Bakura told me before? [[ Bakura]] He doesn’t say
anything…Damn it! I would’ve thought that it would’ve triggered a lost
memory…but from the look of confusion on his face, I don’t think it affected
him one bit. I’ve had my last straw. If the gods don’t want us together
again, then I’m going to have to face the truth. Denial is pointless. I let
out a strange noise and stand up. Yami doesn’t even
notice. Or if he does, he doesn’t react. I start to walk
out of the room, but am stopped by someone’s voice. “Bakura, wait!” Yami says. I
turn to him with hollow brown eyes. “Waiting won’t
help me one bit. I can’t wait forever.” I say bitterly, then storm off into
my room, grab my plushie, and run into the bathroom
and slam the door. I lock the door and slide down against it, wrapping my
arms around my knees. I start to sob quietly. I let all the
tears I had been holding for five millennia fall. He doesn’t give a
damn about me. I was stupid to think I even had a chance. And now… Now I have
absolutely nothing. I _know_ now that the gods have cursed me for life…I’m
not allowed to have a love in this life. And I’m doomed to live my hikari’s life with nobody to share it with. Damn it all. [[ Yami ]] What did I say? I
don’t get why he became angry all of a sudden. I shake my head. I have to
find out what this is all about…Does Bakura still
love me? Is that the reason he tensed up? I need answers. I need them now. I push the
blankets off of me and stand up. I spot my clothes, dried, so I quickly change
into them. I don’t know why…just felt like it. I clasp on my belt and bravely
walk to the bathroom, where I had heard him slam the door. Oh, Ra…he’s
crying. I can hear it from outside. But what am I supposed to do? Go in there
and comfort him? Well, I suppose it’d do. I take a breath
and gently knock on the white door. “Bakura?” He doesn’t stop
crying and just yells, “Go away!”. I don’t give up
and press my ear to the door. “Bakura, please come out. We need to talk…” “Just leave me
alone!” he screams. I sigh and keep trying to persuade him to come out. It’s been at
least fifteen minutes. I haven’t given up yet. But he won’t leave the
security of the damn bathroom…His reckless crying has died down to a
controlled set of sobs. Still… “Please, Bakura. I need you to get out of the bathroom…” I plead,
yet again. He doesn’t reply. Why won’t he come out and face me? All I want to
do is help… Please, Ra… I fall to the
ground until I’m kneeling, my head bowed. A stray tear falls from my right
eye. I don’t even bother to wipe it away. “’Kura-chan…please come out…I love
you. All I want to do is to help you…Onegai, Bakura. Please come out…if not for yourself…for me…” I
say with a weak, shaking voice. Another tear falls. I feel it drop on my
hand. The sobs abruptly
stop from inside the bathroom. I hold my breath. The door creaks open and I
look up. Bakura looks down at me, hugging
something. His eyes are red and swollen from crying, but there’s something
dim in his eyes…it’s hope. “Yami…” he breathes. I stay silent, pleading him to
continue. “Did you really mean that?” I stand up and
intertwine the fingers of his left hand with my right one. I press my body
against his and wrap his hand around my waist. I look up into his surprised
eyes. “Yes, koi. I did…” I reply softly. “I love you.” He breaks into
a smile. Wow. I don’t
think I’ve ever seen Bakura smile before. Not an
evil smirk, not a smug “Hahaha,
I’m-going-to-kick-your-ass” grin, but a soft, genuine, loving smile. Come to
think of it, he looks utterly adorable with that innocent expression on his
face… “And I love you
too…Yami.” He says, dipping his head down and
pressing his lips to mine. I wrap my left arm around his neck, pulling him
closer. We stay like that for a couple of minutes, before he breaks loose. I
release his hand and hug him. He looks down at me with lit up eyes and wraps
his arms around me as well. I love him. I
really do. And that’s one
thing I never thought I’d say. (( Time Lapse: One hour later… )) [[ Bakura ]] Yami is currently
leaning against me on the couch in the living room. We’re watching the snow
fluff fall outside the window. The fireplace is still lit and steamy mugs of
my homemade hot cocoa are sitting on the coffee table. All is peaceful. And that includes
me. My mind isn’t in disorder anymore. I’m…I’m happy. That sounds so weird to
say. I mean, I’ve been confused, pissed off, or just damn annoyed for the
last five thousand years and now…I’m happy. Good. A brand new
mood to add to my list. Yami opens his eyes
and looks up at me, crimson meeting almond. I smile. Only he can make me
smile…that’s always been true. “What’s wrong, Yami-chan?” He shakes his
head and just smiles. Sometimes, I can’t get over how innocent and childish
he can look. Did I mention cute? “Nothing,
love…Just thinking of how much I love you.” “…” He giggles
and lays a kiss on my nose. Then he snuggles closer to me. “Good night, ‘Kura-chan.” he whispers before falling into a tranquil
dream. I brush a blonde bang from his angelic face. “Good night, Yami-chan…I love you.” I murmur and lean my head on his
and slowly drift off to sleep, hugging both Yami
and my plushie. Remember how I
told you that no story ends happily ever after? Well, judging by
the recent events, I guess I’m wrong. I think one could say that this story has
ended happily ever after. |